Last night, we (me and Jason) were at some friends’ house. We were all drinking, playing games and just having a grand ole time. It was pushing 1:30am and we were drunk. Some of us more so than others. The friends have a finished walk-out basement so that is where we hang out. So for whatever reason, Jason was upstairs. None of us knew he was up there (I assumed he was in the bathroom)…until the sounds of flailing arms and legs reached our ears. I swear, the house shook a little and the lights dimmed. You know how as Mom’s we just *know* when something has happened to one of our kids? Well, I had that gut feeling….except all of my children were home with their aunts…the only person I had was Jason. And yep, it was him. I can’t even begin to describe the sight that greeted me as I rounded the bar. My husband (all 205 pounds of him!) was sprawled, face first on the landing. His arms were at his sides and his legs were still on the stairs. It was as if he didn’t even try to save himself. The shoulder of his shirt was completely scuffed. Blood was dripping from numerous wounds about his face. Let’s see…there is a quarter-sized scuff right between his eyebrows. Right on his lash line of his left eye is another little gem. His nose was bleeding. His mouth was bleeding. Large carpet burn-type anomaly on his right thumb area. He was just precious. I, of course, burst out laughing. The guy friends got him into the bathroom and were coddling him. While me and the girl friends were laughing our asses right off. And taking pictures with our cameras!!! And as if that weren’t insult enough, once we got home, Amber and I took a permanent marker and used his torso as a canvas. Amber wrote “I love drinking!” and “I love Vicky!” and “I should quit drinking!” Extremely funny stuff. Wish I had a picture on my camera. Because I soooo would post it.
So this morning, Rhonda and I (my sisters are still here from FL) rubbed some salt in le’ wounds. She was quite the artist and has some fantastic renderings…click here to see. She reenacted the entire thing on paper. And I made a playlist on iTunes dedicated to my husband’s misfortune. A sampling of my tunes:
- “Double Vision”-Foreigner
- “Don’t Bring Me Down”-ELO
- “I’m All Shook Up”-Elvis
- “Pieces of Me”-Ashlee Simpson
- “Help”-Beatles
- “Staying Alive”-The BeeGees
- “Damaged”-Danity Kane
- “Barely Breathing”-Duncan Sheik
- “Stand or Fall”-The Fixx
- “Upside Down”-Jack Johnson
- “Hit The Floor”-Linkin Park
- “Footloose”-Kenny Loggins
- “Wipeout”-The Safaris
- “I’ve Seen Better Days”-Sublime
- “Fat Lip”-Sum41
- “Free Fallin”-Tom Petty
Wow…we crack us up. He *is* okay, by the way. Just a lil’ damaged.
I have an idea for a song on the playlist… “I get knocked down… but I get up again!” by Chumbawumba (sp).. and it’s about drinking!
LOL!
My favorite part of the story was where you said that it was as if he didn’t even try to save himself!
I cannot stop laughing at the visual!
May I suggest another song?
‘I Like Beer’ by Tom T. Hall…
[...] Like I said, I didn’t see this, but I have such a mental picture…hilarious! [Here is Vicky's version of events] So, when they got home last night (I am still in Indy), he was already looking pretty f’ed [...]
We will laugh at this for years! Hopefully my art work will be taken care of out in Jason’s “man cave”.
) I have pictures if not. You need to post your picture of Jason’s wounds!
Loved your version of the incident. Funny how it didn’t make me laugh when Jason told me about it. My suggestion for your play list..Mr. Pitiful by Otis Redding. That’s what it was in Jason’s version.
>sniff< He makes a Momma proud he does!
It was for sure “seeing is believing” and it was a scene I will never forget! I have priceless pics of an evening I will never forget! Poor Flo…..but oh so funny when we found out he was alright!